Beyond Burnout: Normalizing Psychotherapy for Working Mothers
Working mothers near their breaking point can get the help they need - it's called mental health care, psychotherapy, or counselling.
We have a big problem in our country. A recent poll found that 56% of working nurses in the U.S. are burned out. This number is higher among younger nurses with fewer than 20 years of experience. Despite this high prevalence of burnout, only 30% of burned out nurses are getting any help with this. (The American Nurses Foundation and McKinsey surveyed more than 7,000 nurses in April and May of 2023.)
Approximately two-thirds of surveyed nurses indicated they were not currently receiving mental health support and 56 percent believe there is a stigma attached to mental-health challenges. Twenty-nine percent indicated that lack of time prevented them from seeking mental health care. Twenty-three percent indicated that “they should be able to handle their own mental health,” and ten percent cited cost or a lack of financial resources as a reason for not seeking care.
Surveyed nurses who indicated they were likely to leave their jobs reported that they “were not feeling valued” by their organizations. They also reported “insufficient staffing” and “inadequate compensation” as factors influencing their decisions. Over forty percent reported poor control over their workloads and hectic and intense day-to-day work.
Burnout has several adverse, long-term health effects such as chronic health problems like cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal issues, and compromised immune function. Burnout is a predictor of mental health problems like anxiety and depression. In physicians, burnout increases the risk of suicide. These health conditions incur not only personal costs but also societal costs because they decrease productivity, increase rates of absenteeism, decrease employee retention, reduce job satisfaction and career longevity.
The current situation among doctors is similar to that among nurses. When Medscape surveyed 13,000 physicians across 29 specialties last year, they found that 56% of female doctors reported being burned out. The majority of these burned out physicians felt that their burnout had a moderate to severe effect on their life and negatively influenced their relationships. Thirty percent of physicians felt they “were depressed.” Physicians’ burnout is mostly due to an excessive burden of administrative tasks, a perceived lack of respect from administration and managers, and unmanagemable work schedules.
Just like with their nursing colleagues, however, very few female doctors are seeking professional help - only 9% in the latest report. Some physicians reported having insufficient time to get help. Forty percent of them fear discosure to the medical board and expressed concerns about therapy showing up on their insurance records. Many do not want their colleagues to know or think them “weak.” Sadly, only 11% have used the services of companies, individuals, and coaches who offer progams to reduce burnout (but 46% would consider doing this).
Burnout is, unfortunately, not confimed to healthcare workers. Last year, a Gallup survey found that 55% of K-12 teachers are burned out. Teaching has always been a highly fulfilling but challenging job. Teachers work for relatively low wages in comparison to other public sector jobs. They work with students while navigating family and parent dynamics. Dealing with challenging student behaviors and maintaining classroom discipline can be emotionally and physically draining.
Teachers often face heavy workloads, including lesson planning, grading, administrative tasks, and extracurricular responsibilities. Insufficient resources, both in terms of materials and support staff, contribute to their stress and burnout. Moreover, teachers may feel pressure from administrators to meet various academic goals and standardized testing requirements. All of these factors make for a very stressful job.
Just like with nurses, the rate of burnout was found to be higher among younger teachers. And just like among physicains, the rates of burnout in all jobs was higher among women compared to men. Among female workers in all industries, Gallup reported the burnout rate to be 34%.
We have a serious national problem with burnout which is manifested more often among working women, most of whom are mothers.
Based on my personal experience, I believe there is an important role for psychotherapy in working mothers’ burnout. However, there is clearly a stigma against using mental health care services to address this problem. I have written about my episode of working mother burnout while working an inhumane schedule for a boss I did not like and, in my off hours, trying to be a decent mother to three small children. I wrote about my struggles not only as a personal example of burnout, but also as encouragement for other women to self-identify and secure the help they need.
When I was severely burned out at age forty-two, psychotherapy provided a space for me to discuss and process all the stressors in my life. This contributed to a reduction in my overall stress levels. My therapist taught me coping strategies to manage my anxiety and stress, and also provided practical tools that I could apply in both my personal and professional lives.
In the past, when I reapplied for state licensure and hospital credentials, I was asked questions about my mental health: “have you been treated for a any mental health or substance use disorder?” and “are you taking any medication or treatment that will affect your ability to treat patients or practice medicine?” I answered no becasue I felt that it was none of their business!
Note: Since September 12, 2023, physicians in 25 states are no longer being asked these broad mental health questions when they apply for a medical license. The Lorna Breen Foundation is working with state medical boards and hospitals to remove stigmatizing mental health questions from licensing and credentialing applications.
We need to destigmatize psychotherapy for working women and change the conversation around professional therapy.
Counseling offers a supportive environment where working mothers can express their feelings without judgment. This can be particularly valuable for those who feel isolated or overwhelmed.
For me, a mother who constantly juggled high-stress work and parenting, therapy provided guidance and support in navigating the challenges of raising children while maintaining my career.
Counseling helped me to thrive both at work and at home. Like many other working mothers, I struggled with setting boundaries between work and my personal life. I had never learned to say no. Therapy helped me establish healthy boundaries and prioritize my own self-care.
I became a more mindful working mother with psychotherapy. Over the long term, therapy definitely enhanced my self-esteem by addressing my anxiety and challenging my negative thought patterns (like “you should be doing this,” or “you are not a good-enough mother”). The therapeutic process contributed to my improved self-esteem and my self-confidence.
Psychotherapy also equipped me with skills to navigate conflicts both at work and at home, fostering healthier relationships in both situations.
The benefits of psychotherapy will vary from person to person, and the effectiveness will depend on your commitment to the process. Choosing the right therapist and therapeutic approach that aligns with your needs is crucial for a positive outcome.
NOTE: While state medical boards have made tremendous strides to support physicians, more action is needed to drive changes for hospitals and health systems. Additionally, these changes must be made in nursing licensure boards, specialty licensure boards and insurance/malpractice applications.
Hi Susan! I recently started following your work, and I’m so grateful for this article you posted here on burnout for Moms and healthcare workers. As a working mom and doctoral student in clinical psychology, I couldn’t agree more. Let’s normalize therapy for women, because we are better people and happier people when we take care of our mental health, and this has a positive ripple effect for everyone’s lives we touch. Thanks for a great piece! -Kay