HOBBIES - remember them?
When you engage in a hobby, you unleash your inner creativity and well-being.
Most of you will read this title, roll your eyes, and move on. That’s okay.
For those of you who do remember a hobby - before two children and a full-time job consumed all your free time - you may smile in acknowledgement.
I have infrequently, over the years, picked up needle and thread, fabric stretched over a hoop, and happily stitched away. That process took me away from the chaos and turmoil locked in my mind. I carried the NICU home with me after work - the sickest baby, the most depressed mother, the lack of response to a new treatment, the grouchy partner, the parents desperately praying for their child to live. It was all there in my mind, creeping forward from the recesses in the back, beckoning to be dealt with, worried about, and struggled with in my time at home.
Somehow, I learned to cross-stitch in my thirties. My sister taught me. Growing up, my mother always had some embroidery project going, sitting, and stitching. That image of her was, for me, one of both relaxation and industry.
When I was thirty-six years old, I cross-stitched my best creation – an alphabet for the nursery. I had a two-year-old son and was expecting a daughter. It took me two years to complete that project, because I could stitch only when each of them was asleep, or she was asleep, and he was out with Daddy shopping for groceries. I loved this piece from the moment I finished it, especially the primary colors. I had it framed and have kept it ever since. (I wish one of my adult children would ask to use it in their children’s nursery.)
Recently I created a Halloween sampler in embroidery on felt. There were so many bothersome sequins and new embroidery stitches to learn, and this project took six weeks to complete. My goal was to produce a family heirloom for my daughter and her children, which I managed to accomplish.
Hobbies, like my cross-stitching and embroidery, provide a sense of accomplishment and boost self-esteem. It feels wonderful when you produce something beautiful - a painting, a work of art, some music, a bowl or vase, a sampler.
Many hobbies, such as stitching, painting or playing a musical instrument, can be soothing and calming, always promoting relaxation. At the very least, hobbies encourage mindful awareness of your actions, which is a key component of meditation.
Fortunately for me, I discovered that engaging in my hobby helped to reduce stress and promote relaxation. I have always found that some type of stitching hobby is meditative. Whether cross-stitch or embroidery, sewing or knitting, one must sit still, concentrate on threads and cloth, and not think about other concerns. Mine helped me to NOT think about the NICU.
I found that my engaging in a hobby was meditative in several ways. First, focused attention was required to perform it. Since my hobby required my full concentration, it felt like mindfulness meditation. This helped me to be fully present in the moment, further reducing my stress.
Second, performing hobbies can trigger the relaxation response, lowering the production of stress hormones. Some people find that their hobby leads to a "flow state" in which they lose track of time and become completely absorbed in the activity, akin to the meditative state of deep concentration.
Third, like journaling, practicing a hobby encourages your creativity by allowing your right brain to take control and bypass your more focused, driven, and demanding left brain. The process of allowing our right brain to express feelings and creativity is healthy. I can attest to the fact that engaging in a hobby really did decompress and sideline my busy, worrying left brain.
Fourth, hobbies are usually enjoyable and add meaning to your life. A game of Mahjong with friends is good for many different reasons. Moreover, your hobby can provide a healthy balance to your busy daily routine.
There is only one drawback. You need some extra time in which to do them. I have friends who are good at scheduling their hobbies, allowing for that one hour per week of ceramics class or musical instrument lessons.
My advice is to consider your hobby as “me time,” and try to use and protect it!