The mother-friendly workplace allows for some degree of schedule flexibility. This workplace is one in which women value quality time with their children, one in which women can cover for a coworker who must leave work to pick up a sick child or who needs to appear at the school for a special luncheon, performance, or school event during the day.
Managers at mother-friendly workplaces partner with human resources colleagues to ensure that working mothers are offered remote work whenever possible. According to the McKinsey 2023 Report these two options - flexible scheduling and remote work - top the list of job benefits preferred by parents with small children. Both women and men ought to attend certain special events in their children’s lives whenever possible. A mother-friendly workplace is also father-friendly, one that supports working parents in their capacity to be involved in their children’s lives.
The mother-friendly workplace allows for some freedom when children are sick. According to Pew Research, seventy-two percent of mothers are working either full or part-time in the U.S. Because so many working women are mothers, and younger mothers have small children and infants, female workers face a childcare conundrum. Working mothers with young kids require care during the day while mother is at work – a babysitter, a day care center, or a preschool. Half of working moms in the 2023 Motherly national survey reported relying on outside childcare, and sixty-three percent are paying for > 30 hours a week of care. One third of working mothers are spending > $2,000 per month on childcare, and many report that outside childcare is a source of financial stress in their household.
Young children who are in daycare or preschool get sick more often than children who stay home with mom, and when they get sick, someone must pick them up from childcare, preschool or elementary school, take them to the doctor, get the prescription from the pharmacy, and return home to provide care. Most often, it is mom who receives the call from the school (not dad) and mom who must leave work to care for her sick child. At the very least, she must arrange to have her child taken care of by someone else.
The mother-friendly workplace is aware that mother’s return to work after childbirth is a major life stressor. Mothers may be psychologically fragile when they return to work after maternity leave, whether it has been six weeks, eight weeks, or for the lucky mom, twelve weeks of leave. Returning to work after her maternity leave may cause her to feel guilty about leaving her baby with someone else. In addition, new mothers may be chronically sleep deprived, if her baby is young and not sleeping through the night.
The CDC reports that seventy percent of new mothers breastfeed their babies at three months of age, when working mothers most likely return to work. If she is still breastfeeding, the working mother needs an electric breast pump, assorted equipment, a private place with a sink to pump her milk every few hours during the workday, and a place to store her refrigerated milk. The mother-friendly workplace provides these necessities.
The PUMP Act passed in 2022 extends to nursing employees the right to receive break time to pump breastmilk and a private place to pump at work for up to one year. New mothers are especially prone to hormonal shifts during the first months after giving birth, and breastmilk production may be adversely affected by mom’s return to work.
The mother-friendly workplace offers at least twelve weeks of paid maternity leave. The U.S. is the only wealthy, developed country that fails to provide paid maternity leave for working mothers, and most U.S. employees do not receive any paid parental leave. The March of Dimes Center for Social Science found recently that U.S. states that have implemented paid-leave policies found a twenty percent reduction in the number of female employees leaving their jobs in the first year after giving birth.
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) guarantees unpaid, job-protected parental leave for up to twelve weeks for most workers across the U.S. who work at companies with over fifty employees. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, only 27% of U.S. civilian and private industry workers have access to paid paternal leave.
Paid family leave is one of the best ways an organization can demonstrate its commitment to the retention and well-being of its female employees. Many mothers stitch together unpaid leave and short term disability to cover maternity leave. Whether mom’s maternity leave was paid or unpaid will greatly influence when she returns to work since unpaid leave always costs her household money.
The mother-friendly workplace attempts to provide positive feedback to their female workers. Women in general benefit from positive support and feedback for their work. When managers provide positive feedback, it must be done so that the working mother feels satisfied. Most women do not seek out work for the money, but rather work to make a difference and to feel good about what they are doing. This pursuit often gives them the strength to keep going, even when their pay may not counterbalance the costs of childcare and the emotional labor they carry. Women enjoy work that leaves them feeling fulfilled and that provides them with agency, and positive feedback supports these feelings.
In the mother-friendly workplace, condescending feedback is never indicated. Women are twice as likely to be interrupted and hear comments on their emotional state at work compared to men. Seventy-eight percent of women who face such “microaggressions” self-shield at work or adjust the way they look or act to protect themselves. For example, many women choose not to speak up or share an opinion to avoid seeming difficult or aggressive to their colleagues.
The mother-friendly workplace acknowledges that women carry a greater emotional load compared to men. In general, women carry the emotional load for their family, that being the mental activity required to manage or perform routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring the running of the household. Emotional labor means always putting others’ needs ahead of your own. According to the 2023 Motherly national survey, fifty-eight percent of working mothers carry the entire emotional load for their household. It is true that most men perform far fewer household chores and a majority enjoy more leisure time than their partners.
Managers who are unaware of this unidentified emotional burden probably do not have children, or they have a wife who takes care of everything for them. If a working mom is distracted, sad, or upset, there is probably something amiss at home. It may be a sick child, a difficult or problem child, a financial worry, or a deteriorating boomer parent needing help.
The mother-friendly workplace facilitates female workers’ wellbeing with informal support groups. When female employees gather together with an older co-worker facilitating discussion, working mothers feel heard. Women enjoy the support of their colleagues, especially other working mothers. A monthly gathering with coffee and donuts in the morning or lunch at noon works well. The female facilitator is usually a working mother herself who is comfortable inviting female employees to talk about how things are going. These sessions could be debriefing, targeted problem discussions to elucidate solutions, or just “how are things going and what do you need?’’ sort of sessions.
Women like hearing how their working mother coworkers have solved similar problems. You might call this an informal mentorship program, but it works to build their confidence and guide them through challenges with their work life as they become mothers and as their children grow. The benefits of mentors are well-documented for women at work, yet less than half of women avail themselves of a formal mentor. A female support group emphasizes the value of hearing from others.
The mother-friendly workplace is always on the lookout for signs of burnout in women. Managers and supervisors who recognize when their female workers are physically exhausted and/or feeling emotionally overwhelmed are acknowledging early signs of burnout. Once female workers become cynical or begin to make sarcastic comments during meetings, this may signify threatening burnout. The mother-friendly workplace knows that when a female worker appears to distance herself from her co-workers or her current work projects, she is most likely signaling her downward slide towards burnout.
Women who experience microaggressions - and self-shield to deflect them - are three times more likely to think about quitting their jobs and four times more likely to be burned out. Microaggression is a form of everyday discrimination that is often rooted in bias, such as comments and actions - even subtle ones - that demean or dismiss someone based on their gender or race. They signal disrespect, cause stress, and negatively impact women’s careers and health.
When a female employee expresses lack of fulfillment with her work or rationalizes that she is no longer making a difference with her job, she is tottering on the edge of burnout. Managers and supervisors in the mother-friendly workplace know how to intervene in their female worker’s deterioration before burnout occurs. A long conversation with an unhappy female employee is worth the time, and some professional counselling may be indicated to head off her impending burnout or resignation. The mother-friendly workplace has a human resources department that provides on-line counselling visits for burnout as part of their Employee Assistance Program.
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This was such a great article packed with important data about working mothers and what we still need (and what has gone well when we're prioritized by employers). I truly appreciated your point about mentors, as well. Seeking out mentors my whole life, particularly female leaders/managers although also men, has allowed me to learn from people who've "been there" and to gather wisdom and grow from it. Not to mention pure encouragement, which can really help on tough days! Thanks for this post, Dr. Landers!