The Ultimate Juggle: Mastering Work-Life Balance for Busy Moms
It's not easy, but it can be done.
Once you have recovered from burnout, or before you ever fall into that deep chasm, there are some additional guidelines that are valuable for maintaining balance between your work life and your home life.
Finding “balance” between work and personal life is an ongoing process. Some do not believe there is ever any real balance. Others call it work-life integration, like you are somehow stitching together your work, children, and family. I tended to think of it as a juggling act. Some things were on the front burner and others were not. Others had been shoved to the back burner. Burner positioning was constantly changing as I juggled what was most important and urgent.
Regardless of how you look at this notion of balance between work and home life, it's important to regularly reassess your priorities, adjust when necessary, and be kind to yourself along the way. Here is a link to a self- assessment tool that I developed.
The following are some helpful guidelines for maintaining your “balance.”
1) Discover how to best manage your stress. Identify what causes you the most stress – your workplace, your manager, your child(ren), or relationships, and learn how to confront it. Which one thing causes you the greatest grief? Identify and address it; otherwise, it will never go away. Breathing techniques are a key modality to use when you find yourself in the midst of stress. During times of chaos in the NICU, breathing helped me to stay calm and get the job done. Find the technique that you like best to lower your heart rate and relax muscle tension.
2) Maintain self-care practices to prevent further burnout. Which practices work best for you and which ones do you enjoy doing regularly? Ditch the ones that do not work for you. If exercise is your best way to maintain your mood and strength, then create time for that at least three days each week. If meditation works for you, then do it either at day’s beginning or ending. Maintaining a gratitude journal worked for me at days end as I looked back over the day.
3) Learn how to involve your partner or support network in preventing another episode of burnout. Have you discussed with him or her your concerns, made a list of household chores, reviewed the family schedule with him or her? Your emotional load deserves a lot of attention. You carry it around all the time, but he or she may be unaware of your worries (especially if you are the worrier type).
4) Become skilled at delegating and asking for help - both at work and at home. Hire a housekeeper if you have the money. Don't be afraid to share responsibilities with your partner and other family members. Teenagers are perfectly capable of helping with laundry, pickup and drop-offs for younger siblings. If you are without a teenager, consider hiring part-time help, such as a college student to babysit or chauffeur. This will help immensely to lighten your load.
5) Practice good time management: Plan and prioritize your tasks to make the most of your time. Set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Some people like to call this creating micro-goals. You can use tools like calendars, to-do lists, or productivity apps to stay organized and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
6) Choose which things in your life are most important and decide which practices in your life you need to discard. I love the Eisenhower matrix, which utilizes the concept of considering whether things are urgent and/ or important. Eisenhower was a famous WWII General who later served as our 34th President. His great military mind suggested that we create a box diagram of 1) urgent and important, 2) not urgent but important, 3) urgent but not important and 4) not urgent and not important. Then we simply list the things that go into each category.
Things in Box 1 are things to DO. For those things in Box 2, you DECIDE what to do and when. You can learn to DELEGATE the things in Box 3. Box 4 represents all the things to DELETE and let go of, since they do not help you.
7) Take regular breaks while at work: It's important to take short breaks throughout your day to recharge. Stepping away from work, even for a few minutes, can help improve focus and productivity. A coffee break with a friend always helps. Try going outside for breaks and for lunch whenever possible. Studies show that eating lunch or taking a break outside among green, natural things lifts your spirits and lessens your stress.
8) Practice mindfulness and stress reduction techniques: Engage in activities that promote your relaxation and reduce stress, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. There are lots of great apps for meditation. Calm is my favorite and I keep it on my phone and iPad. Take a yoga class with a friend and use her as an accountability tool. These practices can help calm your mind and reduce the physical and emotional effects of burnout.
9) Celebrate achievements and practice self-compassion: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Buy yourself a small bouquet of flowers for a job well done, or simply for a Friday treat. Try to recognize and ditch your negative self-talk. Avoid being too hard on yourself and practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Remember that you are doing your best, and it's okay to ask for help or make mistakes.
10) Seek professional help if needed: If burnout symptoms persist or worsen, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.
I have created an eBook called, “Defeating Burnout - A Guide for Working Mothers” which can be obtained on my website here. Hope it helps!