I was priviledged to join Sally Edwards and Jennifer Jim in a session to debunk the most common myths about self-care. The video is only 30 minutes, and the key points are below.
Myth 1. Self-care is selfish.
You deserve it. You are the pebble dropped into the pond which creates all the ripples in that pond.
You need to be on the top of your to-do list, not the bottom.
Self-care is necessary for caregivers. Consider it like recharging our phone batteries. Consider it to be energy management.
What about our guilt when putting ourselves first? We are most guilty about being away from our children. Guilt insinuates that we are doing something wrong, so question the source. Does society says so?
Myth 2. Self-care involves a significant amount of time.
Can you identigy that one thing that nourishes you the most - journaling, walking outside, calling a friend.
Participate in “active rest” - whatever fills you up, baking, coloring, making a great coffee drink, taking a walk -any activity that restores.
Myth 3. Self-care is only for when I am feeling overwhelmed.
Our culture celebrates busy and frenetic work. Know your signals and give yourself a break. Chronic stress is bad for you.
Your self-care requires some self-awareness. If you think about it when you are in crisis, it may not be as helpful. Self-care is not a band aid, think of it as stitches. Think of it as preventive and restorative.
Learn your signals of things that overwhelm you. When do you feel like you are running on empty? Then find something at home that cares for you in an emergency. Waiting until the last minute, you are like your battery on low-power mode, you are in the red. We need things that restore us before we enter low power mode. (And it is usually not alcohol, which only numbs our feelings, and gives us poor sleep. Alcohol does not treat chronic stress.)
Myth 4. Self-care is indulgent and luxurious.
A walk outdoors costs nothing, neither do breathing exercises. How do you find the time: you can talk with your colleagues at work, which is sharing and connecting. Coming home and scrolling on your phone is not restorative. Talking through something with a friend at work is restorative.
Time scarcity is real. Take your lunch break, your midday break. They lower our stress levels. Do not wait until after the kids are in bed. Eat lunch outside if possible, out in nature. Nature is restorative.
Myth 5. Self-care is one size fits all.
It is not one size; it is the size that works for you. Certain practices promote resilience for working moms, things like practicing gratitude, being in nature, moving your body, walking outside. Your needs change and the method you use will vary as you change. It also depends on when your partner can help and what works for you.
All creative expressions - music, singing, cooking, gardening - and engaging with nature build resilience. The creative process allows us to feel restored. Any change in perspective can help. Listening to music changes your perspective.
Self-care is your journey, in which there are starts and stops along the way. Practice self-compassion and you will learn how to feel better.
Debunking the Myths about Self-Care